A new school year brings a lot of familiar faces.

It also brings some new ones.

There will be new students walking through the doors of middle schools and high schools this fall. Some moved to town. Some transferred from another school. Some may be entering a new building for the first time.

Think about what that first day must feel like.

They don’t know where to sit at lunch.

They don’t know which teachers are strict and which ones like to joke around.

They don’t know where everybody hangs out before school.

They may not know a single person in the building.

And they’re probably trying very hard not to look like they’re nervous.

That’s where you come in.

Be the Kid Who Notices

You don’t have to become the new student’s best friend.

You don’t have to make a big production out of helping them.

Just notice them.

Say hello.

Introduce yourself.

Ask their name.

Show them where a classroom is.

Invite them to sit with you at lunch.

Include them in a conversation.

If you’re getting together with some guys after school, invite them along.

These are incredibly small things to you.

To the new kid, they may mean everything.

Including Someone Takes Leadership

We sometimes have a strange idea about leadership.

We think the leader is the guy giving orders.

The team captain.

The student council president.

The quarterback.

The person standing in front of the room.

Those are certainly opportunities to lead.

But leadership is much bigger than a title.

Leadership is seeing something that needs to be done and having the confidence to do it.

Including someone can demand leadership.

Why?

Because sometimes your friends aren’t going to make it easy.

You might hear:

“Who’s that guy?”

“Why’d you invite him?”

Or perhaps nobody says anything. You simply sense that adding someone new to the group isn’t particularly popular.

That’s when including somebody requires a little courage.

A follower looks around to see what everybody else is doing.

A leader decides what ought to be done.

Remember What It Feels Like

Most of us have been the outsider at some point.

Maybe it was your first practice with a new team.

Your first day at a new school.

A summer camp where you didn’t know anyone.

A party where everyone else seemed to know each other.

Remember that uncomfortable feeling?

You aren’t sure where to stand.

You aren’t sure whom to talk to.

You wonder whether anybody even notices you’re there.

Then somebody walks over and says:

“Hey, come sit with us.”

Suddenly everything changes.

Be that person.

It Isn’t Just the New Kid

New students are easy to notice because they’re new.

But they’re not the only ones who may need to be included.

Look around your lunchroom sometime.

There’s probably a kid who has attended your school for years but still doesn’t feel like he belongs.

Maybe he’s quiet.

Maybe he’s awkward.

Maybe he isn’t particularly athletic or popular.

Maybe his interests are different from yours.

Maybe he simply has a hard time making friends.

You don’t have to solve all of his problems.

Just don’t contribute to them.

Say hello.

Ask a question.

Include him occasionally.

Treat him like he matters.

Because he does.

Don’t Worry About Whether It’s “Cool”

Middle school boys spend an incredible amount of energy worrying about what other middle school boys think.

I know. I’ve worked with them for more than forty years.

Sometimes a young man knows exactly what the right thing to do is but hesitates because he’s wondering:

“What are my friends going to think?”

Here’s something you’ll eventually discover:

Being kind is never something you need to apologize for.

Neither is standing up for somebody.

Neither is including somebody.

In fact, having enough confidence to do those things when others won’t is a sign of strength.

Your Example Gives Others Permission

There’s another interesting thing about leadership.

Other people may want to do exactly what you’re doing—they just don’t want to go first.

You invite the new kid to your table.

Another guy starts talking to him.

Someone else invites him to practice.

Pretty soon he’s part of the group.

Who changed things?

The person who went first.

That’s often all leadership is.

Someone has to go first.

You May Never Know the Difference You Made

The person you include probably won’t come back twenty years from now and tell you:

“Remember September 3, 2026, when you invited me to sit at your lunch table? That changed my life.”

Life usually doesn’t work that way.

You may never know what your kindness meant.

That’s okay.

We shouldn’t do good things because we expect recognition.

We do them because they’re good things to do.

Final Thought

As you begin another school year, pay attention.

Look beyond your own group.

Notice the new student.

Notice the kid sitting alone.

Notice the person standing at the edge of the conversation.

Then do something remarkably simple:

Make room.

You don’t need permission.

You don’t need a title.

And you certainly don’t need everyone else’s approval.

Walk over.

Introduce yourself.

Invite him along.

Be the kid who includes somebody.

It may seem like a small act of kindness.

But it may also be one of your first real acts of leadership.