The very first chapter I wrote in Man Stuff was about something incredibly simple:

The handshake.

Not leadership.

Not discipline.

Not decision-making.

A handshake.

Some people might read that and think, Really? That’s where you started?

Yes. And I’d start there again.

A Fair Question in Today’s World

It’s worth asking now:

Is the handshake still relevant?

We live in a world of:

• Text messages instead of conversations
• Zoom calls instead of meetings
• Casual everything—dress, language, expectations

And let’s be honest—COVID didn’t exactly help the handshake’s reputation.

For a while, it disappeared almost completely.

So is it outdated?

Not even close.

The Handshake Isn’t About Hands

The mistake is thinking the handshake is just a physical gesture.

It’s not.

It’s a signal.

A handshake communicates, in about three seconds:

• Confidence
• Awareness
• Respect
• Presence

Before you say a word, you’ve already said something.

That hasn’t changed—and it won’t.

What Has Changed

What has changed is when and how often we use it.

You don’t need a handshake:

• When you’re texting
• When you’re on social media
• In many casual, day-to-day interactions

And in some settings, people may prefer not to shake hands at all.

That’s important: awareness matters just as much as execution.

A good handshake includes knowing when not to give one.

Where It Still Matters (A Lot)

There are still moments where a handshake carries real weight:

• Job interviews
• Meeting someone for the first time
• Business settings
• Formal introductions
• Moments of respect (thanking someone, congratulating someone, closing an agreement)

In these situations, the handshake hasn’t lost value—it’s actually more noticeable now because fewer people do it well.

That creates an opportunity.

The Advantage of Doing It Right

Here’s the truth:

Most people—adults included—don’t execute a proper handshake.

They rush it.

They avoid eye contact.

They give a weak grip.

They fumble the moment.

So when a young man steps in and does it right?

He stands out immediately.

Not because it’s flashy—but because it’s rare.

It’s Bigger Than Etiquette

Teaching a handshake was never really about the handshake.

It was about teaching:

• How to look someone in the eye
• How to be present in a moment
• How to show respect without being told
• How to carry yourself with quiet confidence

Those things don’t go out of style.

Ever.

What I’d Tell a Young Man Today

Learn it.

Practice it.

Use it when it’s appropriate.

And just as importantly—learn to read the situation when it’s not.

Because the goal isn’t to force a handshake into every interaction.

The goal is to know how to handle yourself in any interaction.

Final Thought

The handshake may not show up as often as it once did.

But when it does—it still matters.

And maybe even more now than before.

Because in a world where so many interactions are casual, rushed, or digital…

A firm handshake, steady eye contact, and a genuine smile still say something powerful:

“I’m here. And I take this seriously.”